StanWorld News: 46 With a Bullet - Ireland Soar in Rankings

Following last week's thrilling last-gasp victory over classy San Marino, the Republic of Ireland shot up three places to 46th in the FIFA world rankings, released today.

The latest figures represent further vindication of Stephen Staunton's management of the team popularly known as Stan's Army, with the former Liverpool and Aston Villa full-back credited with rejuvenating the fortunes of the Irish international side in the wake of the disappointing conclusion to Brian Kerr's reign.

Staunton's team are riding high in third in their Euro 2008 qualification group, perfectly poised behind Germany and the Czech Republic. Those two heavyweights have been given good reason to peek nervously over their shoulders at the closing Irish, whose unbeaten run of three games has fuelled their rankings rocket.

The new FIFA rankings are one in the eye for Northern Ireland, who were victims of the boys in green's upward march, being leapfrogged by their cock-a-hoop southern neighbours back into 49th themselves. As recent conquerors of England and Spain, it is a measure of the progress of the Staunton revolution that the North have been brought to heel by Stan and his merry men.

The FIFA rankings are accepted as the only true reflection of the merits of international footballing nations. They use complicated mathematical logarithms to ascertain the positions of every footballing nation on earth. Looking at San Marino, for example, the devastating nature of their defeat to never-say-die Ireland last week saw them plummet from 195th place to 196th.

For anyone who takes the FIFA rankings seriously the message is clear: Ireland are on the up!

The Match Report in Stephen Staunton's Head

San Marino.........................1
(Marani 85)

Republic of Ireland............2
(Kilbane 49, Ireland 90)

Stephen Staunton's Ireland snatched a glorious late win against crack continentals San Marino last night - and kept up the heat on Group D rivals Germany and the Czech Republic.

Showing the kind of character that made Staunton's name as a player, his team battled back from the body-blow of a late equaliser by the stylish Sammarinese, Stephen Ireland making it a night to remember for the travelling green army with a last-gasp winner.

The hard-fought three points hauls the Boys in Green up to third in the group, increasing the momentum for what looks to be a full-tilt bid for EURO 2008 qualification.

Ireland, sent out in an inventive 4-4-2 formation by shrewd tactician Staunton, set about their much-vaunted opponents with brio early on, Robbie Keane going close with two shots just past San Marino keeper Simoncini's right hand post.

Midfield general Lee Carsley, recalled to the squad in a masterstroke by Staunton before last October's match against the Czech Republic, controlled the central area, brushing aside the hosts' stars Muccioli and Bonini with a classy display. The Everton maestro came close to opening the deadlock with a well-struck drive after 20 minuntes.

The travelling hordes in green roared their men on, buoyed by the verve of their heroes' display. Damien Duff teased and tormented the home defence, setting up Keane on two occasions, while Steve Finnan probed with menace on the right.

Simoncini in goal was sparing the féted home team a hiding, leaping to deny Ian Harte's vicious free-kick and cutting out a Finnan cross to the back post as the first half drew to an end.
Cheered into the dressing rooms at the interval by the proud band of visiting supporters, Ireland - emboldened by one of boss Staunton's legendary half-time speeches - went for the jugular in the second half. The breakthrough soon came.

Finnan whipped in a vicious cross from the right, to which Stephen Ireland got a flick-on, before Kevin Kilbane arrived at the back post to apply a thumping forehead to finish. The crowd erupted in approval, and not just the away fans. Many of the home support were so taken with the character of the plucky visitors that they could only applaud such a well-crafted goal.

Ireland were not satisfied, however. On they marched, utterly dominant at this stage. Stephen Hunt, on for the mesmeric Kilbane, hit the post late on, but it seemed certain that the second was on the way.

However, the road to Austria and Switzerland is not without its dangerous diversions and Ireland were dealt a cruel blow in the 85th minute.

The dangerous home side sprang into attack and Marani managed to bamboozle Irish keeper Wayne Henderson and centre-half Paul McShane (sprung masterfully from the bench by Staunton at half-time) and knock in an undeserved equaliser.

The home fans and players alike celebrated wildly, but underneath their elation must have been relief, and a little embarassment at the prospect of snatching an undeserved point.

But they did not count on the acumen of the man on the Irish bench. Staunton had replaced young striker Shane Long with Anthony Stokes and it was the Sunderland man who poked the ball in to Stephen Ireland's path for the winner - and provoked jubilation in the stands.

The boos from the crowd were evidence of the home fans' displeasure with their team, but on another famous night in the annals of Irish soccer history, the Staunton revolution continues - and only a fool wouldn't know exactly where this team are heading.

San Marino: Aldo Simoncini, Carlo Valentini, Manuel Marani, Albani, Davide Simoncini, Muccioli, Bonini (Vannucci 76), Domeniconi (Bugli 88), Michele Marani, Selva, Gasperoni (Andreini 66).Subs Not Used: Federico Valentini, Ciacci, Nanni, Vitaioli.
Booked: Davide Simoncini, Selva.

Rep of Ireland: Henderson, Finnan, Dunne, O'Shea (McShane 45), Harte (Hunt 74), Duff, Carsley, Ireland, Kilbane, Long (Stokes 80), Keane.Subs Not Used: Colgan, Alan Quinn, Keogh, Gibson.

Att: 3,294

Ref: Peter Rasmussen (Denmark).

Some Fun Ways To Pass An Evening in San Marino

Without wishing to underestimate the 'potential banana-skin' that San Marino represent, tonight's is one of those going-through-the-motions kind of games. All the correct procedure must be followed, attention given to detail, attitude set to 'right'. But three points will inevitably follow.

So with the promise of one of the less thrilling international evenings in store, you'll need distraction. Much like a spread of glossy magazines in a dentist's waiting room, these activities will help you pass the time.

SAN MARINO JOBCLUB
TV commentators have one unbending professional principle: have UEFA press-pack, will waffle. Included in this evening's bumper compendium of cap totals, heights and weights and goalscoring records will also be, bless, the occupations of all the San Marino players. Apart from that one guy who plays for a Serie B team.

So this evening's commentator will shoehorn in various vocations like a moonlighting careers guidance teacher.

- "And Bonini chopped down Keane there - hardly surprising, as he's a butcher by trade."

- "Interesting to note that Vannucci normally earns his living as a chartered surveyor - as he surveys the field looking for the pass."

- "Like the fireman he is by day Palazzi extinguishes Ireland's hopes of a third."

Note and collate the different occupations as they are mentioned.

THE FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT WITH THESE HERE KIDS COMIN' THROUGH
Wayne Henderson, Stephen Ireland and Shane Long are three of Ireland's next generation to make the first eleven for this evening, but with Stephen Hunt, Darren Gibson, Stephen Quinn, Anthony Stokes, Andy Keogh and Darren Randolph all vying for places on the bench, tonight should represent a good opportunity to separate the hope from the hype.

It seems that all the talk around the camp is of the new guys giving the soft and complacent oldies a kick up the underachieving posterior, with yesterday's training match between the newbies and the seniors apparently being exceptionally competitive. So tonight should provide a good opportunity to ascertain whether the next generation are Duff-like or just plain duff, like.

CHEER ON SAN MARINO FOR A BIT
The thing about having nations like San Marino (the world's oldest republic, I hasten to add, for all those who doubt their right to compete with us, a mere 85-year old stripling of a nation) playing international football is that it allows you, just about, to imagine yourself playing at the highest level.

Imagine it. You're a manager of a ceramic goods store in downtown San Marino, worrying about the latest delivery from Armitage Shanks, when the phone rings. It's the Gaffer. You've been called up for the match against Ireland. Reckons you could do a job on Keane, or maybe sitting in front of the defence, keeping it tight.

Next thing you know you're running about the Serravalle Olimpico Stadium, red faced, cheeks puffing, going in hard early on to let these Stars of Premiership and Other Lesser Leagues know you're there. Midway through the second half, five goals down, you win a corner. For once it reaches the penalty box, landing at your feet at the back post. Goal, and you write your name into San Marino's long history books and the next UEFA press-pack.

Can you picture it? Give them a little cheer then: it could be you.

All-Ireland League? But That Would Be Logical!

The old aphorism about sport and politics not mixing is slightly inaccurate, or at least poorly phrased. In actual fact, they do mix: frequently, and with terrible results. The statement should, therefore, read: "sport and politics do not mix well."

The truth of this was demonstrated in a discussion on BBC Northern Ireland's Season Ticket programme on Thursday last, following Irish foreign minister Dermot Ahern's quite reasonable remark that Ireland's two governing bodies in soccer, the FAI and the IFA, should merge.

Of course, when I say 'quite reasonable' I realise that the concept of reasonableness as applied to any matter relating to the partition of this island is utterly pointless. Logic is banished from discussions on cross-border relations quicker than Seán Bán Breathnach from a meeting of the Ulster-Scots society.

Lay the usual tribal neuroses of embattled minor football federations on top of that and you have a malodourous concoction that does, indeed, not mix well.

When the Season Ticket show came to address the matter, they dispensed with the prickly discussion of an All-Ireland national team. Fair enough - what mere chummy-natured sports magazine show would bring upon themselves a debate one step removed from the very elephant that sits in every room in the province.

They did, however, chew over the idea of an All-Ireland league. Well, they didn't quite chew it over, taking more of a small bite which they then proceeded to spit out like children being force-fed liver.

Reporter Gavin Andrews conducted a vox pop of local football fans who seemed more or less split on the question - I know, a divisive issue in Northern Ireland, whatever next?! - although those in support of the idea seemed suspiciously clad in the colours of Cliftonville, a team with a traditionally nationalist support.

The studio discussion, however, considered the matter with all the thoughtful consideration of George Bush contemplating the bombing of a Basra munitions factory.

First off, Roy Coyle, veteran former manager of Linfield, Derry City, Ards and Glentoran did the old switcheroo. "We shouldn't be talking about this, we should be talking about training facilities in the province, they are a disgrace," he harrumphed. Well Roy, we are talking about this.

Jim Gracey, chief sportswriter with the Sunday Life newspaper, at least allowed the subject the honour of precedence over mucky training fields. The jist of his dismissal of the idea was that it would prove too expensive for the clubs - in attempting to compete with their full-time rivals in the south and in travel costs - and for fans - travel costs again.

Gracey illustrated his case with the example of clubs like Loughgall, or Ards, having to travel somewhere like Cork, and the attendant costs involved.

At no point in the discussion were the possible benefits of an All-Ireland league considered. For example, the fact that an amalgamated league would create a larger marketplace for the product, which could lead improved television and sponsorship revenues.

Aside from financial rewards (which would presumably offset travelling costs), the improvement in standards that increased competition would bring would seem a logical (that word again) by-product of amalgamation, by simple dint of combination of the two leagues' stronger sides.

It would indeed be a chore for Loughgall to travel to Cork, but little more than it would be for Cork folk to have them. Obviously proponents of a unified league see more attraction in pitting clubs such as Linfield, Glentoran or Portadown against the likes of Shelbourne, Derry City and Cork City, than in dragging Loughgall and Ards far from home.

Fundamentally, surely the simple principal of maximising the meagre footballing resources of the island makes sense? The panellists on Season Ticket mentioned on several occasions how much of a success the Setanta Cup had been, then performed somersaults of reason to avoid acknowledging that the same benefits would accrue in an All-Ireland league.

Perhaps the politics that taint this argument are merely those of the sporting bodies involved; or perhaps the merging of the Irish footballing entities carries too much of the whiff of republicanism for some. Whatever, the logic of the argument for an amalgamated league seems to be another victim of the invariably foul brew of sport and politics.

This House Ain't Big Enough For The Both of Them

Sometimes a landlord just doesn't like the cut of a tenant.

"That fella, I don't trust him. Shifty lookin'. Comes in late at night, sleeps all day. Has strange folk around at all hours. Not like that nice professional I have in the other place. Well-mannered, accountant I think, or something in the legal profession. Keeps the place tidy, everything just so in there...."

The GAA and the FAI never did get along. Maybe landlord and tenant is the wrong analogy. Two diametrically differing brothers, maybe that's better.

You know those sworn sibling rivalries: one is into sports, drinks pints down the local with his mates (they talk work and football, make mildly racist jokes, no harm), solid job, steady girl, makes the old man proud.

The other: wears only black, and that extends to eye make-up. Spends all day in his room on his computer; reads endlessly - William Burroughs, Charles Bukowski, bit of Romantic poetry - his Mammy's favourite, though it breaks her heart.

Their differences are irreconcilable, though they are as stubborn as each other.

The FAI wanted to use Croke Park for a training session before heading for San Marino in February. Were they asking just to rise the GAA? We may be short on adequate sporting facilities in this country, but surely there are other fields somewhere on this island on which some cones could be arrayed for an afternoon?

You can see why the GAA were peeved at the request. But then you get Munster Council Chairman Sean Fogarty harrumphing:

"Ever since permission (to play soccer in Croke Park) was given to the FAI, there has been a lot of talk, a lot of photo opportunities at Croke Park.

"There's an air of triumphalism about the whole thing. Let them not forget than they are on our patch."

Triumphalism. There you have it. This man feels that the GAA's decision to allow the garrison games into Croker was a defeat - not a mature, considered response to a peculiar situation- and any expression of pleasure from "the soccer people" at the undeniably exciting prospect of playing in the magnificient arena is akin to dancing on Michael Cusack's grave.

The "soccer people" ("them") should come in, heads bowed in reverence, play their insiduous womanly sport, then get the hell out, leaving as little damage as possible in their wake.

Honestly, I don't know what we're going to do with the two of them.