Thursday, October 04, 2007

The Parkhead Pimpernel

Old William Gaillard at UEFA's seen plenty of tough cases but nothing like the sickening act of violence that put a World Cup and Champions League winning goalkeeper out of football for possibly hours.

The lethal nature of the blow inflicted on Dida by the Buckfast-fuelled trespasser will surely not help Celtic's cause. The speed, precision and force of the blow were such that the television cameras did not even pick up its full impact.

Such was the stealth at which the (surely black-belt martial art practising) assailant inflicted his attack that Dida himself did not realise the grievous pain he was suffering for several moments. The brave goalkeeper gave chase, reacting like the true warrior he is, but his highly trained adversary had the fleet of foot to evade Dida's vengeance, escaping just as the crippling pain began to invade the unfortunate Brazilian's nervous system.

The timely intervention of AC Milan's doctor stabilised Dida's condition, and he is believed to be recovering well, though dropping in and out of consciousness. Seemingly, in lucid moments, he desribes his assailant, muttering "he was so pished," or words to that effect.

So who was this Parkhead Pimpernel, this Glaswegian Bruce Lee? No-one knows, but bystanders did report a shadowy figure disappearing down the London Road carrying what apparently was "a kebab of some sort."

A fearful football world turns its eyes to UEFA.


Blogger Paul. said...

Grand piece, now how the f8ck do you manage to get the blog showing up through "newsnow"?

1:44 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a highly trained crack commando squad earlier today took custody of boab the jackle who is suspected to be the dangerous intruder from last night's game. when taken into custody the accussed made no formal statement but was heard to utter "get aff mae ya bawbag" by one alert by stander as he was wrestled(by 12 ninjas) into a waiting van.

3:16 p.m.  
Blogger John Cav said...

"They called him Dida! Dida!
Queen of Parkhead,
Watch him play dead,
As he's tightly strapped in."

Sung to the tune of Skippy. Or Flipper. Can't remember which... Basically, Dida is a pathetic git. That's what should be taken from this comment really.

12:21 a.m.  
Blogger Tommy77 said...

Hopefully the 'Dida's a prat' angle will outweigh the 'throw the book at Celtic' angle...

As for Newsnow, there's a link on their homepage to submit your website for their feed, you just send them your details and they get back to you if they want to accept your page.

10:55 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah Uefa are goin to charge Dida and its about time. Having watched replays of his histrionics after the Inter Milan fans threw the flare at him a few years back, you would have thought he had second degree burns. You can't condone the fan behaviour on both incidents, but Dida milks them both and this should not be rewarded.

11:29 p.m.  

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