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HEINEKEN MATCH MOVED OUT OF LIMERICK TO AVOID CLASH
European rugby chiefs have averted a potential logistical nightmare by moving a scheduled Heineken Cup fixture out of Limerick to avoid clashing with Sunday's gaelic football National League Div.1 Final in the city. The GAA's showpiece occasion is scheduled for a 5.30pm throw-in at the Gaelic Grounds - and the city would have been plunged into gridlock had the meeting of Munster and Leinster gone ahead at nearby Thomond Park. "It was a case of the ERC blinking first," said a GAA insider. "We have a ground in Dublin lying idle which we could always have used if they didn't back down, but we're glad they didn't go to war on this one." Leinster rugby sources are furious at the inconvenience likely to be caused to their supporters, with the Merrion Road expected to be "bumper to bumper all the way to Blackrock."
GERRARD: "I'M COMMITTED TO REAL SUMMER TRANSFER SAGA"
Liverpool and England midfield ace Steven Gerrard has delighted his legions of fans by committing his interminable summer transfer wranglings to Spanish giants Real Madrid. "Enough is enough. It's time I put the fans' minds at ease and made it clear that I am fully intent on spending the summer as the subject of endless speculation about a move to Madrid," the 25-year old announced today. "Real are a wonderful club, and I look forward to spending many summer afternoons in secret hotel suites with their executives, thrashing out never-to-exist personal terms," he added. Gerrard had fond words for his previous suitors too: "Don't get me wrong, I spent some great summers considering £100,000-a-week plus 20% of image rights deals with Chelsea; but at this stage of my career, Real are the ideal club to lead on for three months before turning down at the last minute."
SNOOKER CHIEFS SEEK MORE SERIOUS VICES FOR SPONSORSHIP
Alarmed by the perceived dull image of modern snooker players, World Snooker Association brass are renewing their search for even more morally dubious sponsorship in an effort to spice up proceedings on the green baize. "Everyone knows that smoking is cool, and for years our game's association with the likes of Embassy, Benson & Hedges and Rothmans gave our pale, wan stars the appearance of louche, amoral anti-heroes," revealed a WSA exec yesterday. "We thought that bringing gambling websites on board would maintain the ne'er-do-well mystique, but it's not working." WSA big cheeses are believed to be locked in talks with organised crime, and hope soon to reveal plans for next year's Mafia World Snooker Championships, the Heroin Masters, and the Crack-Whore Open at Preston Guild Hall.
European rugby chiefs have averted a potential logistical nightmare by moving a scheduled Heineken Cup fixture out of Limerick to avoid clashing with Sunday's gaelic football National League Div.1 Final in the city. The GAA's showpiece occasion is scheduled for a 5.30pm throw-in at the Gaelic Grounds - and the city would have been plunged into gridlock had the meeting of Munster and Leinster gone ahead at nearby Thomond Park. "It was a case of the ERC blinking first," said a GAA insider. "We have a ground in Dublin lying idle which we could always have used if they didn't back down, but we're glad they didn't go to war on this one." Leinster rugby sources are furious at the inconvenience likely to be caused to their supporters, with the Merrion Road expected to be "bumper to bumper all the way to Blackrock."
GERRARD: "I'M COMMITTED TO REAL SUMMER TRANSFER SAGA"
Liverpool and England midfield ace Steven Gerrard has delighted his legions of fans by committing his interminable summer transfer wranglings to Spanish giants Real Madrid. "Enough is enough. It's time I put the fans' minds at ease and made it clear that I am fully intent on spending the summer as the subject of endless speculation about a move to Madrid," the 25-year old announced today. "Real are a wonderful club, and I look forward to spending many summer afternoons in secret hotel suites with their executives, thrashing out never-to-exist personal terms," he added. Gerrard had fond words for his previous suitors too: "Don't get me wrong, I spent some great summers considering £100,000-a-week plus 20% of image rights deals with Chelsea; but at this stage of my career, Real are the ideal club to lead on for three months before turning down at the last minute."
SNOOKER CHIEFS SEEK MORE SERIOUS VICES FOR SPONSORSHIP
Alarmed by the perceived dull image of modern snooker players, World Snooker Association brass are renewing their search for even more morally dubious sponsorship in an effort to spice up proceedings on the green baize. "Everyone knows that smoking is cool, and for years our game's association with the likes of Embassy, Benson & Hedges and Rothmans gave our pale, wan stars the appearance of louche, amoral anti-heroes," revealed a WSA exec yesterday. "We thought that bringing gambling websites on board would maintain the ne'er-do-well mystique, but it's not working." WSA big cheeses are believed to be locked in talks with organised crime, and hope soon to reveal plans for next year's Mafia World Snooker Championships, the Heroin Masters, and the Crack-Whore Open at Preston Guild Hall.
posted by Tommy77 at 1:43 p.m.
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