Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The Ballad of FC Hollywood (trad.arr.)

On a warm summer’s night, in the year of ‘05,
Came the bravest young men that were ever alive;
To fight ‘gainst their foes, strive proudly for glory,
So that vict’ry would be at the end of the story.

Atletico Buckfasto stood brawny and mean,
A greater clatter of guttersnipes there never was seen!
Would Hollywood’s famed flair vanquish the threat?
Or would it be plain that their match they had met?

The sky did darken, and the wind it did rise,
Quite dramatic a setting for six a sides!
But when the ref ‘pon his whistle did blow,
Such a battle commenced, my Lord what a show!

From end to end the play soon raged,
Hollywood the team more usefully engaged;
But chance after chance in that first half was spurned,
These three precious points would be fierce hard earned!

Enda Mulry shot wide, Geoff Rooney did too,
John O’Donnell was fouled with the goal in full view;
Buckfasto were strong, tried a shot from afar,
Alert Tommy Martin tipped it over the bar.

Thirty minutes flew by and both teams changed ends,
A common tradition upon which half-time depends!
But legs became weary, though the spirits were strong,
And Hollywood overused the ball they call “long”.

Set-pieces and corners were the tale of the day,
And at last came the chance to put one away!
O’Donnell hit post, to Buckley it landed,
Six inches out and the keeper well stranded!

Now Killian my boy, you’ve played many a game,
Your courage and heart have won you great fame;
But when you blazed that one over, the best chance that we’d got,
If I’d had my pistol you could well have been shot!

The match neared its end, Hollywood grew slack,
But Ryan and Keane kept it tight at the back.
Buckfasto called for the whistle to sound,
But those Hollywood men are the bravest around.

Seconds to go, the ref checks on the time,
Mulry’s just chased one back to his own line,
With one final surge to glory he sped;
The script of a draw he never had read!

Down the left wing he jinked and he weaved,
And saw a sight he could ne’er have believed;
Rooney in space, if the pass could be made,
A chance of a goal as the seconds did fade.

The pass was a good ‘un, the ball was slipped through,
Still Rooney was left with it all to do;
But without a care, a worry or a fret,
He flicked it expertly into the net!

Joy unconfined, celebrations began,
They leapt in the air, elated to a man,
For ‘twas more than three points that were won on that night,
The great Gaffer upstairs made sure all was right.

Now football men, all thee take heed,
Very carefully this tale you’d do well to read.
Even if in the relegation zone you sadly do dwell,
Victory can be yours, you never can tell.

Now I’m old and grey, my sight it is failing,
And nobody believes the tales I am telling,
But there never was a greater story to pen,
Than the tale of those brave Hollywood men.

2 Comments:

Blogger ian rush's moustache said...

why isn't this on the new coldplay album. Chris Martin, are you listening!?

1:39 a.m.  
Blogger Tom the Tim said...

Bard... and so you should be.

11:08 p.m.  

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